From Invisible to Invincible ™ Part I – a.k.a Healing from Fibromyalgia and Much More

August 11, 2009 at 3:01 AM Leave a comment

I’ve been procrastinating again. I finished a book, started another one, woke up at 5am because I had half a glass of red wine last night for the first time in ages, lay awake in bed for two hours, worked out for 1.5 hours morning, chatted with a neighbor, chatted with another neighbor, made tea, made breakfast, watched a cat catch and eat a bird, doodled on some other social networking site. Now I’m writing this paragraph. Everything to keep myself from starting to write about what I really need to write about: my how-I-got-really-really-sick-and-how-I-got-well-again story.

I know part of why I don’t want to do this: I don’t want to relive it, I don’t want to focus on the negative (I never do!), as I’ll have to do when I write. But there’s something else nagging at me and I haven’t figured that one out yet.

But it’s time. And as much as I’m dragging my fingers right now, I know I’ll gain steam when I get started. So here I go!

***

3 years ago I felt like my life was over. Almost everything I had worked so hard for – my 10-year career including  a prestigious master’s degree, my fit body, my intellect – went up in proverbial smoke. I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t think, remember things, or feel anything but pain all over. On the outside, I looked fine most of the time. But my body, my head, and my insides felt like they were crumbling.

Literally overnight, years of chronic stress and running on empty caught up with me, finding and seeping through the hairline cracks in my body until the built-up pressure broke down all the defenses. Up until that moment, I was a highly accomplished Type A, perfectionist, busy professional who was totally in control of her world, high heels and all.

But now, I felt invisible, like a non-entity:  I was not able to be productive and feel good about myself, I was scolded on the bus by older women because I sat up front in the ‘reserved for disabled’ seats because I couldn’t stand (hey – I looked fine!), I was a nuisance to drivers because I crossed the road so very slowly (I could barely walk because of my severe neuropathy), I barely had enough energy to brush my teeth on most days, and even if I had the energy to, I had nothing to talk about and couldn’t relate to other people because I was consumed by my pain and medical agony.

Something shifted when I hit rock bottom:  I wasn’t going to have it anymore. I wasn’t going to play by others’ rules that said “You have to be on this medicine,” “You will be pain for the rest of your life,” “You have to have this surgery,” or even “There’s nothing wrong with you.” I started playing by my own rules. And that’s when I started becoming Invincible. Even if I had to live in pain, I was going to do it on my own terms. I was going to rebuild my life.

Now I feel great, having been on the mend since about November 2008 after about two years of really hard work using my own body, mind, and spirit trio as guinea pigs, when all of a sudden ‘one step forward, two steps back’ started becoming ‘one step forward – oh, wait, look! another step forward! and another! wooo hoooooooooo!’

This is now the best I’ve ever felt, really:  high energy, high spirits, my body is strong, my skin is glowing, no symptoms (as long as I mind my triggers – more on that later), no weird stuff, no colds / flus / headaches / asthma / etc (see below), and I am at peace with my life and my world. I love my life, my  work / passion, my body, and everything this experience has taught me.

My standing diagnoses as of 3 years ago are (were?):

  • Fibromyalgia
  • Chronic Fatigue
  • Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disorder
  • Multiple Chemical Sensitivity
  • Immunotoxicity
  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    (with the Trauma being the overnight dissolution of my health at the age of 32)

These are what I’ll be writing about most of the time. But my past health history includes the following, which I may deign upon now and then as some of these may apply at some point:

  • Chronic asthma (no more asthma now)
  • IBS
  • Many food allergies (down to a very few now)
  • Chronic bronchitis (no more)
  • Pneumonia (no more – no colds anymore either)
  • Chronic tension headaches (very, very rare – maybe 2 x year vs 3 x month)
  • A gallbladder full of stones due to heavy antibiotic therapy (gone – avoided surgery – got rid of them naturally in 2 months with the help of my Naturopathic Doctor)
  • Medication-induced hepatitis and pancreatitis (liver still temperamental – hence the wine’s effect on me last night – but otherwise healed)
  • Unexplained fevers (with no other symptoms – thankfully no more)
  • A probable diagnosis of viral meningitis (yikes!)
  • An atrophied left ankle due to faulty cortisone therapy (my ankle is fully healed now)

Eeek, right? No wonder I’m an “expert patient” and can emphathize with my clients – most likely, if you’re struggling with a health issue, I’ve been there too!

The good news is that the story has a happy ending, per se. 

Okey doke. This is all I feel up to writing for today.

To be continued – stay tuned for Part II and beyond! I’ll keep digging deeper and sharing insights, tips, and more details about my healing as I go.

As always, I welcome your comments and questions. I have a little bit of a backlog to get back to earlier posts, so please bear with me if you’ve reached out to me already…

Have a delicious day!

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Entry filed under: asthma and allergies, autoimmune, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, gastrointestinal issues, health, hepatitis, immunotoxicity, Invisible Illness Awareness Week, multiple chemical sensitivity, pancreatitis, Simla's Story, undifferentiated connective tissue disorder. Tags: , , .

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