Posts tagged ‘reality check’

Yay for the Downturn in the Economy! A.k.a. Who are YOU?

It’s already happening. I hear more people talking about spending more time together, rather than spending more money.

I, for one, while I feel for everyone who’s been affected by the economic crisis (really, who hasn’t?), feel that it was time for a reality check. And not just about how much and possibly how frivolously we were all spending, buying, consuming… but also a reality check for how fast we’re living, always gunning for more, better, faster… and ruining our health in the meantime.

And what have you got if you haven’t got your health?

I was forced to discover this when my own internal economy came to a grinding halt. The simplest things, such as brushing my teeth, or wearing shoes, became things I had to THINK about doing… then do it – usually haphazardly because it hurt or because I had no energy… and then rest before I could do anything else.

I spent a lot of time staring at the ceiling and counting the floaters in my eyes.

I didn’t know who I was anymore. I no longer had the ability to work, no income of my own, and I couldn’t even read – ME, the lifelong BOOKWORM – my comfort, my one thing that always was ME – because I lost my short-term memory. Who was I?

Who are you?

Without your money, your job, your busy-ness, your deadlines, your rush, your favorite hobbies, the things you own, your family who needs you, WHO ARE YOU?

I found out I had a great laugh. That I missed herbal tea, not coffee. That I could hear the birds if I just tuned my head differently (i.e. make my chatterbox brain shut up). That I was the luckiest girl in the world because I have family and friends that stuck by me (and welcomed my calls again after being buried in the consultant lifestyle for so long!). That I actually do like beets (love at second sight)!

I found out that that it was time to move on from what wasn’t supporting me. That I really DIDN’T want to have to be perfect all the time. That I am terrified of failure. That I was ok with that. That I believed in my spirit and that it was alive and well, and always had been, quietly waiting.

That I was evolving into a new me – the real, the whole, the unabashedly alive and imperfectly perfect me.

Who are you?

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April 27, 2009 at 4:52 PM Leave a comment


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